Such A Fine Balance

Every Tom, Soumitra and Parusaram Swamy (aka Pete Roebuck) these days rants and raves about the changes that a certain Mr Chappell has brought to the circus that goes by the name of the Indian Cricket Team. Now I'm all for change, I assure you. Like the Rinpoches of Tibetan Buddhism will have us believe, change is the only permanent thing and all that jazz. What is important, however, is that change bring progress. Now, some smart alecs ( like Riggs, to overtly exemplify) will question the 'progress' judgement call. But to these Riggsters, I have this to say: when a new coach comments on the alleged financial constraints of a former captain to an international daily, that's no progess. Not unless you measured progress by proximity to a dunce-like balance. Allow me to dwelve into the moral realm here. Here's a guy who was in the running for coach's position a few years ago, but lost out to John Wright, apparently because of the astronomical fee he quoted. He's in the news next because skipper Sourav Ganguly approaches him in a bid to try and iron out deficiencies in his technique against quick bowlers and the rising ball just before India's tour of Australia. All well. Now in transit, this guy is also on board an academy in Australia that trains gullible young Indian cricketers recommended by you-dont-say Mr Kiran-Kangaroo-Lookalike-More (well, his pout IS large enough to fit a joey,dont you think). Then Mr Gangs ( now, this is one of those not-very-smart-babumoshai things the guy has done, in the same bracket as letting Mr Bengaluru be vice captain) lobbys for him to be coach. So there's all this masala brewing about how Dada always gets his way with the Board. So all well. Then the great African Safari happens.
Now we all know what that was not about. And it wasnt about the team's balance, I tell ya. How do I know? Cause we were playing Zimbabwe. The team could have been on rotting bamboo stilts in a swamp in Cherrapunji and still beaten the descendents of Tikolo. And who, Sir, might have leaked a private email to the Board to the mongoose-like TV media in the desh? Kiran-friggin-More is who. Now add to this all the Sena-types, Gujju-types, Punju-types who never got themselves to accept Dada at the helm of things, those atrociously insipid Board elections and Mr More doing a Dick Cheney, shooting ducks in the closet they call the Selection Committee, and we have now the humble-bumble Bangalore lad, you know, obviously, you know. So we now ensure Kaif never gets around to making any runs, Pathan bowls his heart out on his way to fulfilling the Great Indian Paceman's Two Year Retirement Plan, we're dropping Gautam Gambhir for being in-effin-consistent and retaining Sehwag to carefully avoid any decline in sales at his sweetmeat store in Najjafgarh. Well, obviously, balance is all that matters. You know.

Bart