Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Such A Fine Balance

Every Tom, Soumitra and Parusaram Swamy (aka Pete Roebuck) these days rants and raves about the changes that a certain Mr Chappell has brought to the circus that goes by the name of the Indian Cricket Team. Now I'm all for change, I assure you. Like the Rinpoches of Tibetan Buddhism will have us believe, change is the only permanent thing and all that jazz. What is important, however, is that change bring progress. Now, some smart alecs ( like Riggs, to overtly exemplify) will question the 'progress' judgement call. But to these Riggsters, I have this to say: when a new coach comments on the alleged financial constraints of a former captain to an international daily, that's no progess. Not unless you measured progress by proximity to a dunce-like balance. Allow me to dwelve into the moral realm here. Here's a guy who was in the running for coach's position a few years ago, but lost out to John Wright, apparently because of the astronomical fee he quoted. He's in the news next because skipper Sourav Ganguly approaches him in a bid to try and iron out deficiencies in his technique against quick bowlers and the rising ball just before India's tour of Australia. All well. Now in transit, this guy is also on board an academy in Australia that trains gullible young Indian cricketers recommended by you-dont-say Mr Kiran-Kangaroo-Lookalike-More (well, his pout IS large enough to fit a joey,dont you think). Then Mr Gangs ( now, this is one of those not-very-smart-babumoshai things the guy has done, in the same bracket as letting Mr Bengaluru be vice captain) lobbys for him to be coach. So there's all this masala brewing about how Dada always gets his way with the Board. So all well. Then the great African Safari happens.
Now we all know what that was not about. And it wasnt about the team's balance, I tell ya. How do I know? Cause we were playing Zimbabwe. The team could have been on rotting bamboo stilts in a swamp in Cherrapunji and still beaten the descendents of Tikolo. And who, Sir, might have leaked a private email to the Board to the mongoose-like TV media in the desh? Kiran-friggin-More is who. Now add to this all the Sena-types, Gujju-types, Punju-types who never got themselves to accept Dada at the helm of things, those atrociously insipid Board elections and Mr More doing a Dick Cheney, shooting ducks in the closet they call the Selection Committee, and we have now the humble-bumble Bangalore lad, you know, obviously, you know. So we now ensure Kaif never gets around to making any runs, Pathan bowls his heart out on his way to fulfilling the Great Indian Paceman's Two Year Retirement Plan, we're dropping Gautam Gambhir for being in-effin-consistent and retaining Sehwag to carefully avoid any decline in sales at his sweetmeat store in Najjafgarh. Well, obviously, balance is all that matters. You know.



Anonymous Riggs said...

What complete and utter tripe. The Bong had to go and since no one else was doing it, Chappel-ji did it, Croc Dundee style. As for Kiran More, I agree whole-heartedly. I chanced upon his interview last night on the news and he said, I quote ' well no one is saying Gautam is a bad player we have given him chances and he is not having a good knock but he is a class player and he will come back I'm sure as he is a class player we are just giving a chance to Robin who has had some good knocks in the Challenger Trophy and in the .... Challenger trophy so lets wait and see' .... Amazing. Only in this country.

2:36 AM  
Anonymous Bart said...

You seen that Aussie quack on Discovery wot dances with Crocodiles for a living mon? That's the job Chappell ought to have been doing. But like you said, only in this country.

2:39 AM  
Anonymous Clueless said...

Okay first and foremost... WHO CHOSE GREG CHAPPEL to train the Indian Cricket team... and WHY GREG Chappel.... err that ought to answer some queries. Underneath that beard of Chappel lies a man who THINKS he is Jesus and wants to work miracles... Let the guy have a go and then when he gets tomatoed out of the place then we can feed him to the crocs... Dancing with crocs leave that to Steve Irwin... he does it the best.

3:09 AM  
Anonymous clueless said...

Shourav Ganguly should be given a day job.. he should be DADA of the underworld.. something exciting like that... or go into extreme sports or something... e.g. bungee jumping with a rope, that which doesn't bounce back.

3:12 AM  

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