Friday, May 19, 2006

17 / Seventeen / Dix-sept / Siebzehn / Diecisiete (and Doubting Tamilians)

For those of you who misunderstand this for a United Nations Number Game, Nyet Mates, fear not, kiss your worries aufweidersehen and au revoir, Mi Bambinos! 17, actually, was the average age of American GI's in Vietnam, hows that for useless trivia? Anyhoo, getting back to the point on hand, whats the average age of American GI's doing on a cricket blog??? It's rather simple, darlings, It's Win # 17 While Chasing, Extending That World Record, Thank you very much.

It was a Thursday night. Thursday in Nizamville means its Karaoke @ 10 Downing Street, (The PUB, not the Blair summer home). I had no idea there was a match on. Woe is me. I didn't get to watch a single ball being bowled. Alas.

BUT, Hurrah Highlights ... the Indian win was set-up by a conniving (apparently), too good to be true (apparently), Bastard (hell NO) gent called Rahul Dravid. The man Bartman loves to hate, but more on that later.

The match appears to have been a runfest as usual. Our fine opening attack of Messrs Pathan and Patel were done in by Gayle force winds, notching up 100 runs in their 20 overs before Harbhajan Singh and sanity returned. 251 must have appeared to be a fighting total, if not a match winning one.

The Indian scorecard shows us that Sehwag should have responded faster to the second run that ran him out, Pathan should have batted lower and Yuvie while being the second best left hander on the ground needs to learn the values of patience ! Heartening news for Mohd Kaif fans as he got back among the runs and hung around there till the finish.

The Windian crowd (easier to say than 'West Indians') also had their first taste of Dhoni, 18 off 11, 2 x 4, 6 x 1. Needless to say, those figures will improve drastically as long as he gets to bat a little higher! I am told the next match is on Saturday night. What fun. Saturday Night, Under Deck (watering hole for the uninitiated), Big Screen, Filipina Band, Assorted Pretty Women, Carib Cricket.... Could one ask for more?

OH YES. Another RD 100. Who tha man????

I know I'm forgetting something here! Aah yes, our heading also mentions our southern doubting thomas iyers, another Riggs and Bart cutpase, if you will :-

Bartman: Mort!!

Riggs : Bart!!!!!!!!!

Bartman: what's up mon?

Riggs: nuffink, awoke a lil while ago

Bartman: ah

Riggs: twas a splendid saturday nite, as yu can prolly tell

Bartman: heh, me too actually

Bartman: Splendid

Bartman: lol..this morning, my dad notices that as long as the Injuns were in India, Dravid was referring to the team as "the boys" and now, he's calling them "the kids"

Riggs: heh @ RD ... i havent been followin the news actually last cuppla days .... but i did see a pic of him in team blazer and all bein interviewd by windies media .... my only question is ... who the feck wears a suit in the windies ? :o

Bartman: lol, other than sir naipaul, shreeshanth and dravid

Bartman: of cos shreeshanth has to wear a suit to avoid looking like a shetty hitman from Thane

Riggs: hehehehehehehe

Riggs: wots with that hair?

Bartman: Guruvayur

Riggs: heh

Riggs: he looks like a bit of a camel when he's on the move, that boy, legs upto his chest and all

Bartman: i was there some time ago, the locals were whispering abt how the Gods of Guruvayur had granted him his wish of gettin into the Indian team

Bartman: heh@camel

Riggs: yeah ? Mebbe i shud visit Gurvayur too. Tell the gods i appreciate them givin me a waist like a cricketer (Powar) and then request if it cud be exchanged for .. hmm .. lets say .. Matty Hayden's bod?

Bartman: crazy place that @ Guruvayur, crowded as hell and they have a board right outside the sanctum that says "Non-Hindus strictly not allowed.

Bartman: Preposterous

Riggs: so no Pathan and Zaheer and Kaif @ Gurvayur, wot?

Bartman: hehehe..yea, and i read that Matt Hayden has adopted Kochi as his second home, so the Gods will prolly know his body well

Riggs: BTW ... my pal Sunder was here yesterday, had the gall to tell me that a 'BLOG' meant that it did NOT have 'cut-paste' convos and that they needed to updated more regularly. If i warnt in an AC cab with him and if it warnt 40 degrees outside, i wuda stopped the cab and thrown him out.

Bartman: well, Sunder can be told politely that it isnt his Blog. and we'll bloody well so whatever we want with it.

Riggs: of cos, yu will forgive him when i tell yu that he 'thinks' Dravid is a rehearsed man. Everything that he says is rehearsed. For eg ' So Rahul, they hit yu for 350 in a day, tough day in the field eh?' RD :- *smiling* 'oh well it was a tough time but we all have tough days and let me tell yu if yu try putting a 3 month old baby to sleep yu'll know wot a tough day is'

Bartman: besides, our convos are far more readable than some random ramblings on most 'BLOGS' abt what someone wanted to do, almost did and didnt quite do last saturday

Riggs: Oh well .... my reply wasnt so verbose. And it wasnt as rude as your response.

Bartman: lol, yes, i like Sunder

Riggs: I said ' kiss my ass yu tam &%$%#&% and ' do yu want a please with your fuck off?'

Bartman: he's rehearsed because he has no original thots mon

Riggs: oh shut up. I'm not gettin into an arguement wit yu on a day yu have reports tocomplete and i have pork to prepare, but all I'm sayin is the last time we won a series in the West Indies, i was just born, sunil gavaskar just debuted, ajit wadekar was skipper. And now RD is going to get us another one back.

Riggs: (in a time and an age where my waist size is greater than my age)

Bartman: it's going to be an amusing series mon, i ll tell yu that

Riggs: oh yes it is

Bartman: and what's all this nonsense abt your waist size, what happened to your strict diet?

Riggs: i always like watchin cricket in the carib ... there's more action in the stands than on the field. Hurrah WorldTel

Riggs: I've been very strict with my diet. So strict that i'm not lettin it make an appearance. I like tellin peeps im on a C-Food Diet. I eat wot i see. eh?

Bartman: lol

The updates will be more frequent now, considerin we have games on. More later boys and gurls !

The Riggster


Anonymous SundAr(with an 'a', not 'e' said...

Yes, its YOUR blog. Yes, you can do what YOU please with it. Yes, RD is all 'memorise standard lines'. Yes, India did well to win 17 on the trot (and counting). yes, Riggs wasnt verbose or rude (The FO WAS polite!)

But NO, I wont read your blog if OU cant think up and talk about original stuff and stop inflicting your conversations on me!

2:15 AM  
Anonymous Riggs said...

Like I said, would you like your Fuck Off with a please or without? heh heh

2:20 AM  
Anonymous Bart said...

Riggs, you are not to be crass and inconsiderate and unappreciative and uncouth and egg-headed..uh, well, you are not to be yourself with our readers. Maybe you can rehearse politically correct lines, wot?

10:53 PM  
Anonymous peccavi said...

gud yeevinig dorleeengs - nothing on the one run loss and the end of the streak (ahhhh). Licking wounds????

11:20 PM  
Anonymous Bart said...

peccavi, we are unfortunately one writer short. instead of contributing to cricket literature, I'm stuck writing dissertations. Riggs on the other hand is, as you suspected, licking his wounds. will be back asap.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous SundAr (remember me?) said...

well, well, well!deafening silence on the kannada-golt collaboration I see! 'Desert'ations and a supposedly busy schedule is what one hears. But then, we also hear that crow takes a while going down the gullet!

We'll wait while you guys try to ingest and figest all the crow - and while we wait, we will continue following an oh-so-familiar story with India teams touring. Everyone on the planet - with the exception of Zimbabwe and probably Bangladesh too? - wallops the caribs and we crumble! Deja Vu

2:10 AM  
Anonymous Bart said...

hehe, Sundar with an a, we'll certainly remember you henceforth :)

8:37 AM  
Anonymous Riggs said...

Bah! Damn Doubting Tamilians I say. There can be no crow and gullet till the series is won or lost. Hang on to your Aiyyo Jayalolitas kids, Uncle Rahul and his kids will do a Wadekar.

As for Sundar with an A, you still wanting the please or no? Heh heh

Match 4 is on, Sehwag has just dearly departed, lets see where this one goes.

7:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you guys are just being mean about Dravid ! not fair !

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