Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A bad Hair day!

I have watched cricket over the years. While great batsmen, some bowlers and some fielders had us glued to our tellies, there have always been some umpires who have added their own brand of fun to the game. Some of our fondest memories have to do with umpires.

Can you forget Ambrose, trying to field the ball, running into Dickie Bird? Poor Dickie was all over the place and literally had to hold on to Curtley to stay upright. He then proceeded to walk around like a stunned man. Play acting at it's best. The players loved it and more importantly, the crowds loved it.

Shep and his triple Nelson phobia. He hopped around on one foot everytime Nelson appeared on the scoreboard, which again, became as famous as Sachin's crotch-box fidget and Srikkanth's sniffling! Shep's signalling of four to the scorers, the hand waving slow signal is how cricket fans the world over signal four.

Billy Bowden and his dancing queen antics were almost as huge a hit as some of Chris Cairns sixes. He bought elements of baseball, basketball and american football signals into cricket, along with being fleet of foot, signalling fours and sixes to the beat of those DJs blaring music on the Kiwi grounds.

And then.... there's Darrel Hair. Grumpy. Boring. Unless you're an Asian cricketer. That's when you're on your toes. You never know when you're going to get shafted. Whenever there's been a hard decision and some kind of controversy with Hair, you can be rest assured its never with an Aussie, Kiwi or Pom! It's Sri Lanka. Pakistan. Zimbabwe. All that's missing is a KKK hood and Hair's in business.

It boggles the mind that 26 Tv cameras (by what I think are the best production team in the world) could not capture what Hair's eagle-eyes have. The ball wasn't allowed to be inspected by Inzy until Inzy demanded his rights. It all reeks of bollocks, if you ask me. Prez Perv has jumped into the fray and added his two-bits. I do hope the ICC wakes up and smells chai, carrying this on any further will release a tsunami of Asian hate all over the gentleman's game.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's not split any Hair on this issue. Ban the bastard shave his hair and kinit a mask for Niranjan Shah's mouth! I can't believe the BCCI reaction. Of course its a jerk that never played cricket who speaks though!
I still remember him watching Murali's arm while as the umpire at the bowlers end he should be watching his feet! so much for all those who call him an efficient umpire! and then the cock up of Inzy's run out!
Lets quit the ICC and float an Asian Cricket council, the gora's without the money will come crawling!
cereal K

12:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amongst umpires you forgot Swarup Krishnan! (if i remember right)
Bowlers were said to have said the were bowling over the umpire! it was like negotiating a traffic island when u came in to bowl!
Cereal again

12:25 AM  

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