Glory to the King of Kings-mead

In a sensational display of personal courage and conviction, Captain Lumberjack led his team to a spell-binding defeat at the Kingsmead stadium in Durban last night. After a reasonably average bowling and fielding performance, India sped along to said scintillating defeat at a glorious average of 10 runs per Indian. Captain Lumberjack's perfectly scripted evening of disgrace appeared to suffer a potential setback when Sachin Tendulkar began to look like he wanted to stick around and do something of consequence. But the anxiety turned out to be unnecessary as he too proved himself capable and willing to set aside his narow sense of sanity to accomodate the greater good.

In this humble reporter's humbler opinion, this superlative performance veritably stamps the argument in favor of making Mr Dravid captain for life and Mr Chappel the special in-charge for the resolution of India's border dispute with China.

Bartman